Happy Golf Festivus

You’ve heard about it because of Frank Costanza. George’s somewhat intense father on the television show “Seinfeld”. Are you down because of the stress that is Christmas? Well, no need to fret. Because there is a “Festivus, for the rest of us”. December 23rd. Yep, it’s today. So get ready for the airing of the grievances and some feats of strength because it’s “Golf Festivus”.

 

Airing of Grievances

Frank Costanza said it best. “I got a problem with you people! And now you’re going to hear about it”.

• Slow play. I don’t care if we’re talking about Bryson “The Tortoise” Dechambeau or the folks at your local daily fee golf course. All that I know is this. There is no reason for rounds of golf to last longer than 3 hrs 45 min. Fun fact. When I played U.S. Open Qualifying everybody walked (of course). It was less than 3.5 hours. Play ready golf. Get to your ball and take the shot. Are you playing in a medal competition? Likely not. Hit your shot and move on.
• The golfing public that keeps slamming Patrick Reed. It’s time to let go. Enough said. I’m done here.
• You people who ride carts and park in front of the green. Wake up and smell the freshly cut grass. Park parallel to the pin. that’s the quickest exit and entry point.
• You know those poles or signs that say “No Cart’s” in front of the green? The superintendent put it there for a reason. Don’t take your carts past those signs. Because we all want tire tracks in front of the green.
• You people that don’t fix ball marks and divots. Yet you complain if your ball hits one on the green causing you to miss your putt. It’s karma. Oh, and you likely don’t fix them because you’re too lazy or because you have a fall sense of entitlement.
• Slow play has plagued the PGA TOUR right?! Why can’t they play “ready golf”? Lead by example. Experiment on the LPGA Symetra Tour, Korn Ferry Tour, or the Mackenzie Tour. Much in the same way the NHL uses the AHL as it’s test-bed for new ideas.
• Music haters. The times have changed, music is totally cool on the golf course… With a caveat. If you are one of the DJ’s out on the golf course, the entire golf course doesn’t wanna listen to your Backstreet Boys.

• Professionals that damage courses. That’s you, Bryson and Sergio. I still say if they wanna damage the course. Penalize them. Not with strokes. Put them to work. Let them live a day in greenskeeper’s shoes.
• There’s a better way to enforce the cannabis policy. Don’t! It’s so common that the PGA Show has exploded with CBD vendors. It’s becoming legalized more and more and if it’s prescribed by a doctor than it’s even more legit. I know, it’s about the Olympics. My suggestion. Enforce it a year out from the Olympics. If the PGA TOUR/IOC is that concerned, monitor players 365 calendar days out from the beginning of the Olympics.
• The double-standard that has been created on the PGA TOUR
• Trick shots. It’s time for them to slowly fade away. I appreciate the talent but it’s old. So 2018.
• 25-Handicaps giving new golfers “lessons” at the range. Oh, and filling their heads with technical jargon like “weight transfer” and explain it wrong. You’re going to screw them up even more. Another new golfer… That will quit the game.

Feats of Strength

• Coming all the way back , after my Stroke and playing the best golf that I’ve ever played. 2019 was my best year for scoring average.
• My first Ace. Even though it was unwitnessed. It was still exciting.
• Until The Next Tee had an amazing 2019 and it isn’t quite finished yet.
• Tiger Woods winning The Masters, tying Snead with 82 victories, going 3-0 at the Presidents Cup and being the winning captain at said Presidents Cup.
• LPGA Commissioner Michael Whan for slowly getting the purses to where they should be for the LPGA and pursuing companies to “walk the talk” when it comes to sponsorship dollars.
• Brandon Matthews. Because he knows that there’s more to life than golf.
• The guys might be good but the girls on the LPGA TOUR are amazing. Watch them.

Now we just need a “Festivus Miracle”. Happy Festivus!!

Until The Next Tee!!

 

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